It is no secret that I am not a fan of the Star Wars movies episodes 1-3, and 8. Don't mistake these huge critiques for disliking the enitre franchise. I think THE Space Western overall is a very cool concept and story (mostly) and a cool sandbox to create in, which is evident by Jon Favreau's Mandalorian and Boba Fett shows. However, as I've said previously, the prequels are a hot mess. At the heart of this hot mess is a terrible plot. I understand while I can criticize the bad choices made for these three movies, I havent really come back with an alternative. So... here we go. For continuity sake, and to clarify, we are KEEPING episodes 4-7, and 9 probably in their entirety. Episode 8 doesnt really seem to be relevant to the overall plot, and can probably be thrown out altogether, although there are some intriguing ideas. We are also tossing everything Clone Wars related, but keeping Rogue 1, and Solo, as I don't believe the prequels are ever brought up in detail, so whatever we change, won't mess with continuity.
WHAT WE KNOW:
George Lucas establishes in A New Hope a few things about this universe. There is a Galactic Empire, ruled by an Emperor. Previously, there had been an intergalactic war known as the Clone Wars. There was also an order of warrior monks called the Jedi with telekenetic abilities derived from a natural and spiritual essence known as the Force. They are an ancient religion, and they fought in the Clone Wars.
The Galaxy believes these Jedi had all been nearly wiped out somehow, but few may still be living in exile. Obi Wan Kenobi is one of these. Luke Skywalker's father was also a Jedi and knew Obi Wan, and was "betrayed and murdered" by Darth Vader. Han Solo knows the Jedi used to exist, but not much else, leading one to believe its been awhile since the Jedi disappeared, or they're so secretive, not much was generally known. Darth Vader is also a Force user, it is unclear what his relationship is to the Jedi Order.
We also know, from A New Hope that there is already an established group in open rebellion against the Empire. Not much is revealed about how they are organized, but later scenes show they have an established base of operations, and operate much like a standing army with heirarchical leadership. They also appear to be fully funded and have a wide array of weapons, including several squadrons of star fighters.
Conversely, we know the Empire appears to function as a government divided into several smaller territories run by governors known as Moffs. Grand Moff Tarkin being one of these. Darth Vader appears to be the senior representative of the Emperor, but not necessarily the Commander-in-Chief of the military, nor does he seem to have authority over the Moffs, as Tarkin appears to always have the last word. However, in Empire Strikes Back, Vader takes on more of an admiral role, and even has his own giant star destroyer.
In Empire Strikes Back, we also learn Darth Vader and Anakin Skywalker are the same person, and A: Luke is his son, B: there is another option if Luke fails and, C: Obi-Wan tried to train Anakin like he trained Luke and failed.
In Return of the Jedi we learn Leia is the other option because Luke and Leia are twins. They also have little to no memory of their actual mother, so they had to have been separated from her when they were very young.
The Mandalorian establishes at a point in the past, the Empire attacked Mandalore in retribution for something, seemingly making the planet uninhabitable, and forcing survivors to live in exile. It also makes clear, Mandalore was once respected in the Galaxy as a fearsome warrior society.
In addition to these things, and all characters that appear and are talked about in the canonical films, I do like certain prequel characters and think they still have potential. I've decided to keep Mace Windu, Darth Maul, Jar Jar Binks, and some others.
Episode One: The Phantom Menace
The original prequels fail in that they don't provide a convincing reason how a centuries long government can finally collapse. An upstart trade federation is ridiculous. No government on Earth has ever been taken down by a trade group. Usually giant empires fall due to environmental disasters, exterior pressures and internal conflicts, or invasion.
My story makes far more sense, but can also use some of the element from the original plot. A galaxy is a pretty big space, with lots of diversity in both environments and lifeforms. However, economics is a shared element that can bridge all these differences. So, for hundreds of years, the Galactic Republic is able to secure trade and keep the peace. Everyone trades, everyone prospers, and all disputes are managed by the Republic's Diplomatic Corps and the Jedi Order of Knights. There is no standing Army or Navy, but several member systems maintain small forces to combat crime and piracy.
That is until the economy hits a once in a lifetime recession. Now a few member systems have doubts about the Republic's economic policies. This establishes an internal conflict. At the same time, there is a external threat to the Republic from another wing of the galaxy.
I looked into Star Wars Legends stuff for extant species to plunder for this purpose. Although the Yuuzhan Vong are intriguing on their own, created as an antagonist for the post-Return of the Jedi books, the Tof from the comics seem to be a better option. It is an Empire of its own, with several subject systems. They have a war-like culture, but are more interested in conquest than annihilation.
That should probably be the only thing we take from the Tof in the Comics. In the comics, these guys look like green skinned pirates from the Caribbean, complete with spaceships that looked like pirate ships with sails and rigging. They will have to be completely redesigned because that is dumb.
From another arm of the galaxy, until now not having any contact with the Republic, the Tof Empire begins raiding Outer Rim worlds, and making aggressive demands. The Republic is ill equipped to handle this situation, as there is no military force, only a diplomatic Corp and the samurai-like Jedi peace keepers. The Jedi ask for the Republic to act, as this is a threat unlike anything they have had to deal with in hundreds of years.
A few Senators from Outer Rim systems, lead by the Count Dooku, the Senator from Serenno, and Jar Jar Binks, Senator from Naboo, propose repealing the Republic's demilitarization policy. This would allow for a new military to be built. In the meantime, a Defense Force will be built quickly by retrofitting large transport vessels, and conscripting independent states' anti-piracy fleets. They also propose building a force of Marines using new but highly unethical cloning technology. This proposal is fought by Senator Palpatine of Grizmalt and Senator Bail Organa of Alderaan. Instead they propose sending Jedi to bolster the already existing anti-piracy fleets and defend Outer Rim sectors until they can open diplomatic channels with the Tof.
Bail Organa takes two Jedi, Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, and his apprentice Anakin Skywalker, to Mandalore to secure mercenaries to help reinforce the defenses in Outer Rim systems. The Jedi win the Mandalorians' respect and swear allegiance.
Meanwhile, Palpatine, the biggest supporter of keeping the Union together, despite economic recession, thwarts an attempted assassination by Darth Maul. Jar Jar Binks uses this event to stoke fear in other Senators, calling the assassin an agent from the Tof. He succeeds in building a coalition for secession from the Republic. ("how can the Republic keep our home systems safe, when they can't even keep the Senate safe?")
Palpatine requests Obi-Wan and Anakin to investigate the assassination further.
A few Outer Rim systems have started building their Navy anyway in secret, led by Count Dooku and senator Mitth from Csilla (the Chiss). Their efforts are seemingly aided by two shadowy agents who have been traveling all over the galaxy making deals to secure the resources necessary. It is unclear who these two women actually represent, but they are protected by a ninja like figure (Darth Maul). The cloning begins, using infamous Mandalorian outcast Jengo Fett as its blueprint.
As systems begin to secede from the Republic due to economic recession and safety fears, the Tof raids in the Outer Rim continue to escalate. Jedi forces are taxed to their limit in protecting Outer Rim systems even with Mandalorian reinforcements. The Anti-Pirate fleets borrowed from Mid Galaxy and Core systems, have left these areas defenseless, leading to an unprecedented crime wave, strengthening the Hutt, Black Sun, and Crimson Dawn crime families. This creates even more uncertainty among Republic member planets and puts more pressure on the Union.
During their investigation of Bail Organa's assassination attempt, Obi-Wan Kenobi and his protege, Anakin Skywalker investigate a tip given to them by Senator Palpatine. They uncover the secret Navy being built by rogue Outer Rim systems in direct violation of the Republic's Orders. This scandal rips through the Republic. Several more systems secede. Obi-Wan continues to investigate the assassination further on his own.
Seeing the weakness, the Tof begin to invade Republic systems. They mount an invasion of Coruscant, but the Mandalorians, assisted by Jedi Mace Windu, Obi-Wan and Anakin Skywalker, manage to push the Tof away and defend the Core system and the center of Republican government. However, several other Outer Rim systems fall to the Tof.
After the narrow victory, Palpatine, with support from his biggest detractor Senator Dooku, calls for the Republic to give him emergency dictator powers to oversee the defense of both member and separatist systems. The motion passes, and Palpatine commandeers the secret Navy and the cloned Marines, and ramps up military spending and training across the rest of the Republic. The Jedi finally get the support they asked for and begin the Clone Wars against the invading Tof. Palpatine is seen as the great leader who has preserved the Union in a time of strife, and has rebounded the failing economy through his military spending.
Meanwhile, Anakin is seen as a hero of the Battle of Coruscant and is awarded his Masters robes by the Jedi Order at the request of Obi-Wan. He is charged by Yoda and Qui Gin Jinn to train the newest group of apprentices.
The Clone Wars
This second film opens with the Clone Wars already in full swing. Anakin, as a master, has been leading a strike force of Jedi apprentices. A new apprentice has been added to the group, Ahsoka Tano, a young Togruta girl. Meanwhile Obi-Wan and Mace Windu have been leading squads of clone troopers. As the movie begins, these 3 groups are reunited on the Bothan planet Bothawui, preparing a push to free the world from Tof control. During the ensuing campaign, Ahsoka begins to discover the true nature of Anakin's strike force. The Bothawui campaign is a success and proves to be the turning point in the Clone Wars.
As the war comes to an end, and the Tof are pushed out of Republic Territory. Bail Organa calls for opening diplomatic talks and ending the war, but Palpatine, refusing to give up his dictator powers, opposes the motion, and with Count Dooku, and Mithh, and Jar Jar Binks in his ear, seeks retribution for the Tof's aggression by invading the Tof Empire outright. The Republic Senate is left in an uproar. Meanwhile the Mandalorians discover the source of the clones (Jengo Fett, the banished Mandalorian), and despite the best efforts of the Jedi, they desert the Republic Armed Forces and return to Mandalore.
Obi-Wan Kenobi's investigation finally uncovers the assassin, at the same time, Ahsoka blows the whistle on Anakin. She informs Obi-Wan and Mace Windu of Anakin's seeming treachery, unclear of his motives, and of a plot to destroy Serenno. Obi-Wan asks for Mace Windu's assisstance. They attempt to arrest these alleged terrorists, and end up battling Darth Maul and his two female operatives. The female agents are revealed to be Padme Amidala and her sister Sola Naberrie from Grizmalt.
In the ensuing fight, Padme is killed. Darth Maul and Sola escape, and the Jedi are left to chase and stop the planned terror attack.
In the epilogue, we see Anakin, distraught. "This wasnt supposed to happen". A voice offscreen tells him they have the technology to clone.
REVENGE of the SITH
Darth Maul, and Sola are confronted by Mace Windu, and Obi Wan Kenobi. However, Sola escapes, leaving Darth Maul to fight the two Jedi alone. The Jedi understand Maul to be Sith, an offshoot of the Jedi Order obsessed with the Dark Side and thought to have been outlawed and eradicated. Before Maul is seemingly killed, he reveals there are Sith in the Senate, and he is but one of 4.
Meanwhile, Skywalker confronts Dooku. The Count is surprised the Sith have gone back on their deal. Dooku exposes the pact made between him and the Sith lords. They planned the economic recession, the war, the assassinations, everything to spark a coup disguised as legitimate procedure to defend the Republic. Dooku and his allies in the Senate would benefit from lucrative defense contracts previously banned by Republic law, and the Sith would gain power as Prime Senators for life. Skywalker tells Dooku the Sith had no intention of sharing power and wealth. Skywalker kills him.
Sola ignites the city, destroying it and polluting the planet. She escapes to rendezvous with Anakin.
The Jedi also escape and split up. Mace Windu takes two other Jedi Knights to share with Dictator Palpatine what they've learned about the Sith presence in the Senate, as news of the tragedy on Serenno reaches Corsucant. Meanwhile Obi-Wan Kenobi goes to confront Skywalker about his betrayal and arrest him.
While Obi-Wan fights Skywalker, Anakin reveals why he turned to the darkside. He could never understand why the Order had to be celibate, and renounce all wealth and power. His new Master, Darth Sidious showed him the kinds of wealth and power he can obtain while building a life and family with Padme that the Jedi refused to allow him. But now Padme is dead, and all he wants is revenge. Obi-Wan presses Skywalker about the identity of Darth Sidious, but he doesnt give up Palpatine. Obi-Wan incorrectly guesses Jar Jar Binks is the Sith Master.
As Obi-Wan defeats Skywalker, cutting off his arm and leaving him to die in the fires of Mustafar, Mace Windu arrives in Coruscant. He intends to meet with Palpatine and the Economic Council, made up of the heads of the most powerful trade organizations in the galaxy. However, he is stopped by Senator Jar Jar Binks, revealed as the Sith Lord, Darth Tyranus, for the first time. Windu and the other 2 Jedi fight Jar Jar Binks. The Sith Lord manages to kill the other Jedi, but is overmatched by Mace Windu. Mace Windu defeats Darth Tyranus, but doesnt kill him.
Palpatine watches this all happen, a spectator this whole time. As Darth Tyranus is defeated, Sola enters and stands with Palpatine. Mace Windu recognizes Sola from their encounter in Serrano as Palpatine turns on him, revealing himself to be the Sith Master, Darth Sidious. Darth Maul, Darth Tyranus, and Anakin were his apprentices. Dooku was only a manipulative pawn, "much like the Jedi Order itself". On a television screen to the side, a news broadcast shows a few Senators including Mithh at a press conference, revealing the Jedi Order are behind the deadly attack on Serenno, and Count Dooku has been murdered by Jedi operatives.
At the same time, the group of Apprentices trained by Anakin, turn on unsuspecting fellow Jedi, with the help of a small group of Mandalorian mercenaries led by Gar Saxon. Anakin and Palpatine have been poisoning these young Jedi, turning them to the Dark Side in secret. Dozens are killed, and the temple is burned down. This attack begins the Jedi Betrayal, which will culminate in the Jedi Purge, years later completed by Darth Vader and Gar Saxon. Yoda, Qui-Gon Jinn and a small group of other Jedi are cornered. The group fights back, but are overwhelmed. Qui-Gon Jinn falls, sacrificing himself so Yoda and the rest of the group can escape. He vanishes in a pile of clothing (obviously). Yoda's group flees and contacts several Jedi operating off planet, including Obi-Wan. Dozens go into hiding.
Palpatine is able to overcome Mace Windu, with the help of Sola, killing him.
Anakin's apprentices rescue him from Mustafar and bring him back to Palpatine, to be rechristened Darth Vader. Palpatine casts the Jedi purge as the necessary response to their treachery, blaming the Jedi Order for inviting the Tof to start with. When the Tof invasion failed, he says, the Jedi destroyed Seranno, and killed Dooku in retaliation. In addition, Palpatine says, they attempted to do the same to Naboo and Grizmalt, and attempted to assassinate himself and Jar Jar Binks, but luckily they failed.
He then declares himself Dictator for Life and shuts himself away with his consort. Jar Jar Binks, and Wilhuff Tarkin expand the war and press into Tor space, unveiling new military, including Star Destroyers, Tie Fighters, marching storm troopers, and even a glimpse at plans for a Death Star.
At the very end, we see doctors at Vader's bedside, he is expected to make a full recovering, including some modifications. The cloning process, he is told, was successful. The doctor moves away and the Padme clone is revealed behind him.
In an epilogue, we see a new cabal of characters uniting to rebel against this new Empire, including Bail Organa, Mon Mothma, Ackbar, Obi-Wan Kenobi, some wookies, bothans, and others. Of course, R2D2 and C3PO will be there. I want to include Owen Lars here too, maybe. See below for details.
Afterward
You see... this plot sets up a more believable government in jeopardy. Because things like the Rule of Two don't exist, we can have a cabal of Sith Lords working together to create chaos and gain control. Because we have internal threats (failed economies) and external threats (outside pressures), the threat to eternal peace doesn't seem far fetched. We get a Space Western with Magic Space Samurai and Space Diplomatic Intrigue. We are actually getting a real Star War!
This scenario sets up Tarkin as an antagonist in A New Hope, sets up a good reason for the destruction of Mandalore (they deserted the Republic Navy), makes Darth Maul's resurgence in Solo more believable (he doesnt get cut in half). It also shows the potential for a Palpatine bloodline, which seemed to come out of nowhere in Episode 9. Also, the prototype planet destroyer, seen in Rogue One, will be seen in an even more protoypical stage as it rips through Serenna.
There will be a foundation for the kinds of rotten Capitalism shown in Episode 7. Fascist takeovers like described here can only be successful when the Upper Class either is in cahoots, or does nothing. In this case, Jar Jar Binks, Dooku, and Tarkin have all been working behind the scenes to make deals with the people who will become Palpatine's Ministers, and Grand Moffs. Speaking of Grand Moffs, introducing a Chiss character helps set up for Thrawn in the future AND gives an easter egg to some crazy fans.
It also gives Vader purpose. He needs to seek and destroy the Jedi and introduces his group of accolades (his Jedi apprentice Strike Force) who will be known as something like the Sith Inquisitors, or the Emperor's Hands, or the Knights of the Sith, which then makes the Knights of Ren more understandable, if Kilo Ren intends to reproduce Vader's legacy.
In addition, we don't get a huge spoiler by knowing who Luke and Leia are at the end of the 3rd Episode, thereby ruining the surprises in Empire and Jedi. Nor do we have to wrestle with the Prequels' weird Padme/Anakin relationship. She is no longer 10 years older than he is, or a virtuous protagonist.
Padme doesnt really die. I mean, she dies, which helps toss Anakin completely into the Dark Side. But... clones. We can bring her back. This also means Luke and Leia dont have to be born immediately. The Empire can exist for more than 18 to 20 years before the 2nd Death Star is blown up. We don't have to wonder why Obi-Wan Kenobi looks 30 something in Revenge of the Sith, and 70 in A New Hope, when he should only be in his early 50s.
Also, it allows for a movie or tv show about how Vader's twins end up kidnapped and separated. I imagine its probably an assassination attempt on Vader himself, but he's out of town, and Padme becomes the target instead. The Rebel assassins didnt plan for twin babies, and so they take them with. Or... something similar. Bail Organa takes Leia to Alderaan. Owen Lars, one of the rebel assassins, takes Luke to Tatooine, where he will retire to be a moisture farmer, disillusioned by his experiences in the Rebellion. He hopes raising this kid will atone for some of the terrible things he has done.
This scenario also allows Rey to mirror Luke and Leia as products of their upbringing, as opposed to slaves of their bloodlines. Even though Luke and Leia and Rey have evil, Fascist parents, they turn out to be virtuous defenders of the Light Side, by being raised outside of those families.
And, the best part, no Anakin as a child. Unnecessary. No mommy issues, no ties to Tatooine. No speed racer scenes. No midichlorian Force algae causing an emaculate conception. Oh, and no building a droid by hand who becomes an important main character in future movies and never mentions it once.
There. I fixed it.
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