Rolling Stone Disappoints. A Repost

I haven't actually bought a copy of Rolling Stone magazine for quite sometime.  In fact I can't remember the last time.  I still have the Jerry Garcia special issue from 1995...  because, you know, I'm a huge Grateful Dead nerd.

My buddy has a tumblr account and sometimes posts interesting things.  He posted an open letter of sorts recently regarding Rolling Stone's "25 Best Things in Rock Right Now", and highlights the magazine's out of touch ineptitude.

The link is below.  Enjoy.

http://swampthang.tumblr.com/post/20998168357/rollingstone-25-best-things-in-rock-right-now

Phoney Baloney

There are plenty of fictional bands, or rock stars that don't actually exist out there.  There are bands that were created for cartoons, like The Archies, Josie and the Pussycats, Jem and the Holograms, bands created for comics like Billy and the Boingers, Sex bob-omb, and Dazzler, and bands created for sitcoms and movies like Marie deSalle, and Hedwig and the Angry Inch.  

Actual musicians also like to make up fictional bands, some to sing about, and some to use as an alias, or a character to play.  Bennie and the Jets and Uncle John's Band are good examples.  There are also a few used for entire albums.  Probably the most famous example is Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band, but Ziggy Stardust ought to be mentioned too, and Garth Brooks' alter ego Chris Gaines.  Here are two more.

Fictional band: Eddie and the Cruisers.

Real band: John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band

Eddie and the Cruisers soundtrack

1983. Scottie Brothers. 

produced by Kenny Vance

-singles

• On the Dark Side
• Tender Years

The Beaver Brown Band lent its sound to the already existing fictional band created by PF Kluge in the novel of the same name.  I found two versions of this album, the one I have has a few tracks not included on the rerelease in 1984.  The idea was to have the band sound like Bruce Springsteen meets the Doors and Dion and the Belmonts.  John Cafferty nails it.  The film is still played sometimes on movie channels, and the single On the Dark Side is still sometimes played on classic rock stations.  Not bad for a band that never existed.  I loved this movie as a kid, and it's based on a book, which I haven't been able to find, although I hear it's nothing like the movie.

Blues Brothers.  

Briefcase Full of Blues

1978.  Atlantic.  

produced by Bob Tischler

singles-

• Rubber Biscuit
• Soul Man

Unlike Eddie and the Cruisers, who never did anything under that name studio or live after that one soundtrack release, The Blues Brothers toured as a real band, in character, and released a few albums.  According to Aykroyd, John Belushi really wanted this project to work and used it as creative outlet outside of acting.  So, to be fair, this isn't really a fake band.  They perform all covers, digging deep into the blues catalog.  When I was little, after seeing the movie, I thought all blues was like the big band sound of the Blues Brothers and Cab Calloway.  It took me a little while to realize that the blues can be very different.

They Call Me Mr. Tibbs!

I watched ESPN Sportscenter this morning, basically for highlights from the Celtics/Heat game from last night.  I saw the game, but sometimes I like to watch reactions to good games from commentators, and see which highlights they show.  Anyway, I realized, as I watched, that more often than not, superstars were referred to by shortened versions of their names or initials, instead of their last names (normal) or clever nicknames (cool).  This made me wonder what happened to modern sports writing.  Can no one coin a good nickname anymore?

KD goes around CP3...  sounds lame

What happened to clever nicknames for sports icons?  This isn't just basketball stars being shortchanged cool monikers.  Robert Griffin III, the newest Heisman winner, is referred to as RG3.  No one could come up with something clever for the Baylor athlete famous for the socks he wears?  RG3 is uninspired.

The NBA is notorious lately for branding their superstars by their initials and shortened versions of their actual name.  KG, KD, DWade, JKidd, CP3, AI, TMac, VC are all good examples.  The only player that has been nicknamed with his initials that is in anyway clever is Andre Kirilenko.  He is Russian an wears number 47.  So calling him AK47 is awesome.  Other than that...  come up with something better.  Even Jordan, one of the top 3 best players in the game's history, is often referred to as MJ, even when Air Jordan and His Airness have been used before.  

One may argue that Jeremy Lin started some clever branding.  But Linsanity sounds an awful lot like Vinsanity...  Vince Carter was a sensation in the '90s.  Once again, modern broadcasting can't be original.

Chocolate Thunder and Dr J Have a Word...  now THATS a caption!

What happened to the days of broadcasting nicknames like Chocolate Thunder, the Hick from French Lick, The Houdini of the Hardwood, Black Magic?  I like that Walt Frazier's nickname was Clyde.  I like that Wilt Chamberlain was called the Big Dipper, because he had to duck to get through doors.  I like that Magic Johnson is still referred to as Magic Johnson, long after he has retired and become an analyst.  No one calls him Ervin.  No one talks about Julius Erving either, but everyone knows Dr. J.

Currently there are a few NBA stars that have clever, well coined nicknames.  Like Kobe Bryant is the Black Mamba, and Paul Pierce is the Truth.  I think a first step would be for players to embrace the clever nicknames.  Maybe not as enthusiastically as the Shaqtus/Big Aristotle/Big Diesel/Superman/Big Shamrock, who gave himself most of those nicknames.

There is a similar post and project here on Both Teams Played Hard.  It has a list of current and former nicknames for players, all better than the cheap initials used primarily for players that have slightly less well known tags.

Pierce wears his nickname with pride