Friday, April 12, 2013

An Open Letter to my Favorite Radio Station

I still listen to radio.

Let that sink in for a second. Despite all the new technology available to me, like iPods, and satellite radio that rely on frequencies sent from space, and the internet, I use technology that was discovered and invented in 1872 and made popular in the 1920s. I choose to do this, mostly because it is far simpler to turn the dial in my car than to figure out how to sync an iPod, or learn how to stream an internet radio service.  

Most of the time, rock radio doesn't disappoint. I've learned which stations are good, and play what I like, and which stations are clown shoes (I'm looking at you Pop/Hip Hop radio). I change channels between three or four stations, mostly because I hate commercials.  

Recently, one of my go-to stations changed their format, sort of. I say sort of, because it was a rock station, and it still is a rock station. No one went and burned the rock collection and bought a bunch of country records from the local yard sales. The station decided to expand their offering of rock music to incorporate "all rock". Previously, they played mostly hard rock from the '80s, '90s, and '00s, focusing on newer rock and metal. Now, they've added what many would call "classic" rock, and span rock music from the late '60s all the way until the present.

Of course, this change was met with a ridiculous amount of hostility as evident on their Facebook page. Some people just don't like change, or appreciate the old school. I felt pretty awful for the employees of the station, as many of the comments were brutally worded, and mostly unfair.

Personally, I love the fact that the station has realized that the older bands and artists can still rock. It can be a great idea, and could showcase a bridge between old classic rockers and the newer bands that they influenced.

However, the execution of this really great idea is where the station fell flat.

They could have added to their playlist seamlessly with groups like Iggy and the Stooges, the MC5, Cream, Mountain, Deep Purple, Alice Cooper and Steppenwolf, and expand their genre to include punk rock and play groups like Bad Religion, Black Flag, Minor Threat, The Sex Pistols, and the Misfits. No other station plays stuff like that.

Instead, the station decided groups from the '80s like the Damn Yankees, Tom Keifer, Warrant, Cinderella, and LA Guns were better additions. Also, instead of classic groups that compliment their hard rock identity, they play Neil Young, Tom Petty, and the Barenaked Ladies. These are good musicians, excellent music, but not really what one looks for from a hard rock radio station.

I'd love to request more solid rock music, and less girly, feather and spandex wearing, '80s emasculating cock rock nonsense. I know every rose has a thorn, stop crying, you're mascara is running.

Also, Nickleback is unnecessary. There is only enough room on the radio for one band of cocky, douchebags, and Van Halen has it covered.

I say, keep the old stuff that actually rocks (ZZ Top, Led Zeppelin, the Stones, Hendrix, The Who) and dump the folk rock, and all the pansy-ass glam ballads that make men gag and women swoon. I miss the Tool, Manson, Godsmack, Chevelle, and Monster Magnet tracks I used to hear.

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